You have gotten engaged and are ready to tell the whole world the good news! Well, almost the whole world. How do you go about telling your ex that you’re getting married again? This is a person who you had planned spending your whole life with. How is he or she going to feel about this? Also, how will you feel when you tell your ex the news?
If you have parted on good terms
If you and your ex have parted on good terms, the news may not be so hard in telling. You can invite him to lunch and break the news over drinks or dessert. Or you can make a phone call and mention it to him during the conversation. If the parting terms were good ones, he may be genuinely happy for you, especially if he’s in a relationship of his own. Whether you invite him to the wedding is something you will have to talk over with your fiancée. Whether you invite him or not, letting him know about the upcoming event is common courtesy. If you still travel in the same social circles, letting him find out from you is better than him hearing the gossip from someone else.
If you parted on bad terms
If you were in an abusive relationship or parted on bad terms, there are some things to think about. If children aren’t involved, you don’t owe him a phone call to tell him what’s going on. If the relationship was abusive, the less he knows about you the better. If he still has feelings for you, then definitely skipping the call would be advisable. If your ex harbors bad feelings toward your fiancée, it would be unwise also to tell your ex your good news. He may not think its good news at all, and he may feel as if he has to act on it.
If there are children involved
If there are children involved, the news will have to be told to your ex regardless. Because of the changes within the home that will affect the children, a discussion will have to take place. Your ex may want to know your fiancée better since this person will be around the children more. You, your ex and your fiancée may need to sit down and talk about the fourth coming change and how it will affect all your lives. New rules may have to be set in place. Your ex may have a partner now too, and she will have to be included in the discussion. Your fiancée will be upgraded to stepdad and this puts a new slant on the family dynamics.
Getting married and starting a new life can be thrilling and exciting. However, sometimes the remnants of the past have to be dealt with. If you are gracious, friendly and amicable when the occasion arises, things will go a lot smoother.
You are looking toward a bright and shining future. Your ex may still be dealing with the past. By handling the situation with thoughtfulness, you both will get past it and move forward.